Self-care and true rest are two phrases/ideas I’ve been pondering the past couple of weeks.
A little backstory:
I’ve been home in the States for summer break since the end of June. The past month has been the opposite of the past year.
Metaphorically, I had been running a marathon race at a sprinting pace where I felt I could never keep up. Yet, I had learned to be content with the fact I could never “keep up” at a sprinter’s pace. I had to take it one stride at a time. This was quite freeing and I felt like I could “run the race the Lord had set before me” with confidence that He would carry me through any time I felt like fainting or quitting.
If you’ve ever ran a marathon or any kind of “ultra-marathon” (can’t say I have done so yet), you know there are several water, food and rest stations along the path. I have ran a few half-marathons, but I would never stop at these stations because I felt like it would hinder my pace, so I zoomed past them.
Similarly in my own life, I naturally zoom past the rest stops. I simply say I don’t need to stop, it’s going to mess up my pace. Of course, we all know that neglecting to rest physically, mentally and spiritually leads to burn-out, mental fog and even losing sight of purpose.
I know my tendencies to run life at a fast pace without stopping and and so I try my best to guard against it. I create space to rest, or so I thought. Notice the emphasis on “I”.
I’ve done many restful, rejuvenating, relaxing, recharging things this past year. I’ve traveled to cool places, cultivated amazing friendships, enjoyed the beauty of God’s creation, slept, cooked and ate amazing food, read incredible stories, I could go on. These are all things that fill me up, recharge me, etc. These are tools that I think help me to care for myself.
When I was getting ready to leave Malaysia for six weeks, I had not planned to do too much in the States but rest! I knew this was my “long rest” time. The first marathon was over, now it was time to recharge and “train” for the next race.
I had planned to simply “be” with my family and my friends. Of course I had a few fun trips planned throughout my time home, but nothing crazy.
After about two weeks, I felt restless. I wasn’t feeling recharged or rejuvenated. It didn’t make sense to me. I told myself my purpose of coming home was to rest and share stories of my past year in Malaysia. What happened was that I was trying to find my rest in completing this purpose. I was enjoying my time with family and friends, but it wasn’t filling me up. Wasn’t I caring for myself? Wasn’t I getting plenty of sleep? Why was I feeling so purposeless and restless?
And that is when I began to question God, “What is self-care and what is rest”? I didn’t want to try to define it on my own (because that had failed) and I didn’t want to read a million blog posts about it (LOL that I’m writing about it now).
I started in Genesis. God worked. He made the whole world and all that is in it. Talk about running a marathon race… He did this all in 6 days and then rested from His work on the 7th day.
“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.”- Gen. 2:2-3
Resting from our work is good. God did it, so we should do it too.. but what does that actually look like and mean today?
We all know that sin entered the world later on, and I think sin has tainted my view of true rest. Sin is rooted in pride.
Pride says: “I know what is best for me, I know how to truly rest, so let me do what I need to do to recharge.”
This was my thought pattern. I had not yet asked the Lord how to rest in Him and in Him alone. I didn’t stop in Genesis.
Hebrews 3 and 4 offered words to consider. It’s quite a confusing passage for me to understand. (I won’t include the whole chapters, but please read both chapters for context!)
Hebrews 3:10-11: “That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways. So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.”
The writer of Hebrews was referring to the first generation of Israelites to leave Egypt. They were headed to the Promised Land, a place of rest. But because of their disobedience, rebellion, and ultimately, an unbelieving heart (3:12) they could not enter this rest.
The writer continues by exhorting his readers to not harden their hearts and to keep believing what they hold to be true: the hope of their salvation. In Hebrews 4:1 he encourages them that the “promise of entering His rest still stands.” The chapter continues by providing a little history of God’s rest. Beginning with resting from His work of creation (4:3-4), the writer explains that those who knew the good news failed to enter into His rest because of disobedience (4:6). Even though Joshua led the next generation of Israelites into the Promised Land, this was not the final resting place (4:8).
Then, the write paints the hope of the Gospel so vividly:
“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.”
This rest is salvation. Salvation that is only possible through belief in the finished work of Christ on the cross. How do we enter this rest? Believing His work in sending His Son to die for the sin’s of mankind and rise again to life is sufficient. It’s not belief + my works.
Hebrews 3-4 is so so good! Please read it, meditate on it and ask God what He wants to teach you through it. So that’s what I did. I knew I had entered the rest, but was I abiding in it?
As I spent some time with the Lord and asked Him what He wanted to teach me about resting, here is what I came to understand:
- I will never find true rest in people, places, activities or work.
- However, taking care of myself, spending time with people, enjoying traveling to every part of God’s green Earth and serving Him are all good things He has called me to and should not be neglected.
- A litmus test to know if I’m resting in Him: Is this (fill in with any form of self-care/rest) pointing me back to the hope of the cross and resurrection?
I also received perspectives from a few friends on self-care and rest. (Shoutout to those who contributed!)
Common themes I noticed:
- Self care is focused on self
- Self care fills up from within
- Self care is self-reliance and spiritually autonomous
- Self care is physical and intentional rest
- Resting focuses on being filled up for the sake of others
- Resting mean seeking fulfilment from outside one’s self
- Rest is being still, not active
These are all perspectives (as is this whole entire post) about self-care and rest.
From my own perspective: if my definition of self-care is not caring for my sin problem and reminding me to die to self, then I don’t want to waste my time on worthless pleasures.
Ultimately, Christ has taken care of my sin problem once and for all, but I am still called to take up my cross and die to self daily.
He is the Shepherd of my soul.
He knows how to care for me better than I know how to care for myself.
But will I let Him?
Will I choose to come confidently to His throne?
Repent of pride and selfishness?
Receive His grace?
Rest in His salvation?
Hebrews 12:1 declares:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
When it comes to self-care and rest, I am exhorted to ask myself: Is this activity, time spent alone, time spent with family/friends, hindering me from running the race and fixing my eyes on Jesus?”
Is it reminding me of the JOY that is only found in Christ?
Is it showing me what to “throw-off”?
I think that neglecting to rest and care for self can definitely hinder you from running the race. (Back to my marathon analogy).
But, I think one has to be on guard against viewing self-care and rest as an end goal.
As St. Augustine so accurately expressed:
“Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee”.
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